Thing called Love

It's hard to believe that it has been a year since I began to talk to the most amazing person that has walked into my physical life. A year ago I was a struggling teen, working out who I was, where I fit in, what I wanted from life... everything a teenager struggles with. Yet in my life I was trying too hard. Hanging out with the wrong people, doing the wrong things, everything. Then one Mr. Trevor Allan D. walked into my life. I was the crazy one and he was the mellow, always follow the rules one.
With everything I had gone through in life he seemed like he understood. he was the best friend I had never really had; the shoulder to cry on; the hand to hold; the everything I needed then. I had told myself that during my junior year of high school I was not going to look for a boyfriend, I was putting my love life in God's hands and out of mine. Not even 3 months into my junior year Trev and I began talking. It was like for  even a second that I talked to him, everything was right in the world.
I sometimes refer to him as my angel that God knew I needed and so he sent him to me.
Today I was at dinner with Trevor, his parents, his brother Dj, and Dj's girlfriend Abbi; it came to me that almost a year ago I was sitting there awkward and I couldn't bring myself to talk. Then today I was normal and shoving my hand into a pumpkin that I had failed at carving. It was like a home away from home.
Thursday.
Thursday, November 1, 2012.
One year. Holy shit.

I know to some people all they think is that, oh, I'm just a silly eighteen year old who doesn't know what love really is. I do. He is love. This past year Trevor has shown me what it means to live. All I know is I am a very lucky person and I would not take back anything in my life. All the mistakes, lies, and speedbumps... They all led me to him. And I would be out of my sanity to want that to have never happened.

I love you Trevor Allen(:

Everyone Should Have Known

Amanda Todd. The current popular topic on Facebook, Google, in schools, and everywhere else. I personally feel like everyone giving her this much support is outrageous. Now don't get me wrong I am sorry for her family and everything else, but there are hundreds on people in the US alone that kill themselves everyday. And the only people who know their names are their family and friends. There are no big Facebook pages, no huge piles of flowers. There's nothing.

I've found most of the time the people who no one seem to know about where overall good kids and/or people and if anything helped others. Amanda Todd would frequently get onto webcam shows and "preform" (If that's what you wanna call it) for men of all ages. She would also show her face during these shows. She was 15 when she killed herself and 13 when she slept with a married man. Now I'm sorry, call me whatever you will, but she was just asking to get made fun of on all levels. And any parent who allowed this to happen... Well, we just won't go there.

You can call me a monster or anything else you want to. This is my place to just talk about how I feel and that's that. It's my thoughts. And my thought today is that Amanda Todd was asking for the bullying. But that by no means excuses it; and I am very sorry to her family for the loss of their daughter.